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The second half of 2017 has been a tough one. It's December 25th and I've decided to sit down and just write. I haven't done this in a while! A good opportunity to get a moments peace, but to also reflect on the year as a whole. I don't want to sound like I'm exaggerating, though I feel as if my mental health is at an all time low (and the family members I have consulted do agree here), and I've resorted to writing in attempt to clear my own head. I've struggled in the past, but never to this extreme. I'm constantly fighting the demons in my head telling me that life isn't worth it. At one point today I had to hide in my grandparents' bathroom whilst everybody was opening their presents as I couldn't fight back the tears for any longer. I've cried a total of four times today for no reason, and I'm sick of it. The baffling thing about all of this is that I'll still try and hide it from social media, and portray a relatively normal life. I'm not very good at it, don't get me wrong - though if I tweet anything sad I'll usually go back and delete it. I can go for weeks and not shed a tear, but the second that the 'fog' hits I simply cannot control it.

I'm trying hard to be better. I've found that alcohol is a trigger (Saturday nights where I have a drink with my parents usually result in me sobbing, but my latest deterioration also started the morning after a well-earned Christmas trip to Popworld with my best friend), but also tiredness. If I've had a bad nights sleep I can guarantee I will be crying the next day at some point. I've gotten beta-blockers from my GP although I don't see these really working very well. They help me through everyday when my head isn't too bad, but they do need to be changed as they don't help my bad phases in the slightest. I'm seeing a therapist too, and they do help, but I'm only entitled to a certain amount of help so I'm not sure whether that will continue. This is the first year where I have accessed help for my mental health and I am glad I've done it. The things I'm using right now aren't perfect, but it's a step in the right direction and it feels easier when you know that somebody else is behind you. I know that nature makes me feel a lot better. Going for a walk in the park is my favourite time of day at the moment, and when the snow fell was absolutely blissful. 

I'm scared of who I've become right now. I've become a scared, paranoid, over-sensitive person that quite literally doesn't want to be around. I've pushed some people away and just straight up scared the living daylights out of others. I can't remember the last time I genuinely laughed without feeling any pain. But this isn't who I am. I miss enjoying life and having a genuine smile. I miss having an appetite and enjoying eating all of the mince pies, Christmas chocolates and wine. I've already started my journey to get better, but I want to drive this so much more for a better 2018. I think it's important to remind ourselves that whilst we want to improve over 2018, this won't happen overnight. I keep considering having my hair dyed blonde but realistically, I know that this is me just looking for a new avenue - a new excuse to start a 'fresh slate' but I know I need to sort out the more important things first. Perhaps I will do it at some point, but it isn't priority!

 Note to self: "Bleaching my hair/scalp is not going to change the neurotransmitters in my brain!!!!!"

Talking about this is tough. But writing it down, talking about it, and not dismissing it is very important. If you feel similar, or need somebody to talk to, please seek help. Whether this is your family or medical professionals. They are here to help! 

Over the last few months or so I've really become a sucker for a good piece of jewellery. To my amazement, I was recently fortunate enough to receive this Cluse watch to review on behalf of Browns' Family Jewellers, who have been a family run business for over twenty years, selling both new and pre-owned jewellery both online and in six different stores across Yorkshire. Browns stock a variety of popular jewellery and watch brands, so there is bound to be something to please everyone.

Cluse are a brand born in Amsterdam and seem to have a simple yet stylish look. The watch is of a high quality with real leather (interchangeable) straps and a super thin watch face. The packaging is also gorgeous, giving it a well rounded, quality feel. For £70 you get a lot of bang for your buck and given how expensive watches can be, this is an absolute steal of a buy. There is also an attached two year warranty so that if anything goes wrong, you have peace of mind. The watch is a very versatile piece, smart enough to be worn for work and on special occasions, yet is simple in appearance to wear on an everyday basis. I love the appearance of the watch with an all black outfit especially as the rose gold appears to pop. 

Browns Family Jewellers have also put together an infographic reflecting on watches over the last 100 years also - isn't it crazy how times change?

Chloe x

I'm always one to try out a new scent and I have recently been loving coconut scents after using the OGX Coconut Shampoo and Conditioner. Alongside this, I have also been using the Urtekram Coconut Shower Gel & Body Lotion (so that I can generally smell like one big coconut). Urtekram is a danish brand, who create plant-based, natural products. All of the products are free from parabens, synthetic ingredients and artificial colours too.

The whole coconut range includes organic virgin coconut oil and organic coconut nectar, which comes from palm trees in the south. Coconut Oil is now so widely used but to summarise, it is great for moisturising and hydrating the skin without leaving a sticky residue, making it a great product for normal skin. The shower gel contains organic coconut nectar and mandarin, which cleanses the skin in addition to creating and maintaining moisture in the skin. In addition, the body lotion contains hyaluronic acid, to help rejuvinate and moisturise the skin even further.

I have enjoyed using the two products and I am in particular loving the body lotion - I think the value for money is great and whilst it's well moisturising, it isn't too heavy on the skin at all. The coconut scent in both of the product is light and isn't too overpowering. I think it's great that the products are suitable for vegans as I am recently becoming more aware of products which are and aren't cruelty free.

Have you tried any products from Urtekram? What are your thoughts?

*Post contains PR Samples

River Island Navy Dress - Old

I'm all for a quality clutch bag - and this clutch from KoKo Couture is no exception. I was kindly offered a clutch bag to review and I opted for the Esme Faux Fur Box Clutch in Grey (£25.00).

Considering the clutch is £25, it is of great quality - it arrives with a dust bag to keep it clean (which is especially great to stop the dust collecting on the faux fur) and there is also a detachable chain inside the clutch so it can be worn over the shoulder. This is an ideal clutch for a Christmas night out as the faux fur makes it look rather fancy, yet it can still be used all year round! I also think the Burgundy colour is a rather festive option.

The clutch is surprising and it actuallyholds rather a lot, which I attribute to the fact that it is a sturdy box shape. The opening is pretty well shut too, once it has been closed it will stay closed easily which means that people can't get into your bag easily. I'm always willing to pay slightly more for bags as I think quality ones will last a lot, lot longer than cheaper ones and I think this is no exception - I love it already! 

*Post contains PR Samples

I'm always one to try a new shampoo and when this shampoo and conditioner duo arrived on my doorstep, I couldn't wait to try it out.

The shampoo contains organic coconut milk, egg white proteins, and coconut oil all designed to hydrate and nourish the hair, whilst cleansing away the excess oil and grease that can build up. I definitely find this shampoo to be a milder one as I find my hair to be quite oily by the third day, although in terms of maintaining the condition of my hair it's definitely not a bad thing. And as an added bonus, it smells absolutely wonderful! The conditioner, once again, smells wonderful (and that is very important, of course!) and leaves my hair feeling very soft and sleek. I think the duo are pleasant to use together although I don't think the two of them do the best job at maintaining the frizz in my hair, which is a shame as the products are otherwise fantastic.

The products cost slightly more than I would typically pay for a shampoo and conditioner (£6.99 for 385ml) and although they were very pleasant to use, I don't see myself repurchasing them as they don't quite have the wow factor. Back to my trusty herbal essences!

*Post contains PR samples

Since having my bedroom redecorated I have suddenly become a huge fan of prints, sporting the beginnings of a 'photo wall' on one of my walls and this 'Say Yes' print from Mooku is a wonderful addition. I recieved the A3 size which costs £8.50 and whilst it feels somewhat expensive, the quality is wonderful and I can imagine it being on my wall in my bedroom for years.

The prints are all handmade and you can even have yours personalised if appropriate (which I think would make a wonderful Christmas present!) when you order on Etsy. The print arrives without a frame although they are super easy to pick up - IKEA is recommended (for example the IKEA Stromby Frame for £5) although I managed to pick mine up from Wilkos for £3.50, which was less expensive and also a lot easier for me to get to.

*Post contains PR samples
4mm Thick Yoga Mat - £14.98 - Yoga Direct

My 'fitness journey', if you will, has been on and off for a very long time now. I'll get myself in routine and start doing exercise regularly, although it's often that life takes over, whether it be exams, work or something else.

Recently I've been getting into exercise, I love attending classes and one thing that I don't own myself is a yoga mat. I have been using the ones provided at my leisure centre although this yoga mat from Yoga Direct is much thicker and more comfortable to use. The mat is a lot longer than expected (61cm Width x 172cm Length) also which is great as it means I don't end up falling off it! I think it's a great option for a starter yoga mat as it isn't too fancy yet it's comfortable and it does the job well, and it's under £15. The only disadvantage I'd mention with the mat is that it doesn't come wth a bag or anything to keep it held in - obviously this is only a personal preference and you can buy them separately, although i've had a bag for a previous mat and it made it much easier to transport and store. Nevertheless, I'd still recommend the product to beginners or those who are after a budget option as it's great in so many situations - whether it be exercising at home or an exercise class at a sport centre.

*Post contains PR Samples